Laughter for a Monday

enjoy it while it lasts

Hi Consumers! It’s been a minute. I continue to feel the weight of so many things on me: some of which included getting married, submitting my manuscript, working hard, and also trying to keep my head above water. Life has been hectic and chaotic, I wish I had more Friday Fives for you. In lieu of that, I’m sharing things that brought me joy from Twitter… while we still have it (see below), while it still provides laughter… really just because we all need it.

🌻✨️Lauren Dombrowski🏴‍☠️🍊 @callmekitto

being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the titanic except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad

I would read a JSTOR research paper on this phenomenon — my brain goes to mush the second I hear the rules of a card or board game:

Shafeeq @Y2SHAF

when the rules of literally any card game are explained to me

This is one of the funniest Twitter threads of all time. I return to this when I need to laugh out loud. Please read the entire thread… I’m still thinking about the dynamic between the Lorry Driver and Manu.

Shiv Ramdas Traing To Rite Buk @nameshiv

OMG my brother in law, the gift that never stops giving, was tired of being sent to get rice every day so he decided buy in bulk, talked to the shop about it, wires got crossed, now there is a literal TRUCK FILLED WITH RICE outside the house and my sister is losing her shit lmfao

dana bad @baddanadanabad

27 years old and blowing my nose w toilet paper bc i do not own a box of tissues… when my mom was my age she owned like at least five boxes of tissues and also a house

meghan @deloisivete

My kid just learned “uh oh spaghettios” but he keeps forgetting and is yelling “oh no noodles” instead

James @DrJamesJBailey

‘Believe’ by Cher was number one in the UK for five days longer than Liz Truss was Prime Minister

✨Gimme the Lute✨ @moontwerk

just overheard someone on the train ask another passenger where they got their elf ears because they the perfect “sort of weirdly shaped but weirdly realistic pair” and folks, they were not elf ears

Zach Raffio @zachraffio

bon iver: come on skinny love bon iver if he were a guest judge on drag race: come on skinny love [different cadence]

alexa is questioning the point of genre @thebigluborsky

Poets are like I know a place and then take you to the corner of their apartment where the sunlight is hitting the wall in a visually pleasing way

chad @badboychadhoy

“we all have the same 24 hours” no we do NOT. mine are different and more troublesome

Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel

i get so starstruck when the dentist comes in after the dental hygienist

Ӡ @ihythreat

i’m convinced estelle was pressured to say “5’7 just my type” by kanye

slate @PleaseBeGneiss

learning is so boring unless it’s gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like “omg did you hear about parabolas”

Kendra "Kenny" The Kid @kendrawcandraw

No more emails. If you want something from me you must approach me slowly and calmly with a piece of apple or carrot in your palm with your fingers flat and extended so I do not bite them

m a x w i t t e r t @waxmittert

I’m doing the lords work (judging)

𝓖. @_geeshaw

Man at the post office said "how's it going" n I replied "yeah good you" and he went "no I mean how you sending the parcel". wont be leaving my house for a while

dan chamberlain @amfmpm

when you see an "LLC" after a business name that means it's owned by lyle lyle crocodile

Come on skinny love [different cadence],

Roya