When I told my Doctor about pain in my upper back, she told me that she loves to do osteopathic manipulation (OMT) for treatment. I wish I could explain OMT in a pithy way, or in some manner that was scientifically accurate. It feels like stretches, gentle pressure on tense areas, sometimes weird sudden movements, and deep breaths. It has made a real difference in my life. It’s funny how the things that make an impact are sometimes the hardest to explain.
In our sessions, I lay horizontal on the bed with the entire weight of my head resting in her hands. It typically takes a few attempts for me to relinquish control, to stop holding my head up, and to just let go.
“Relax.”
“Let me do the work.”
“I’ll take it from here.”
She has so many nice ways of telling me to calm down. We chat as we go through the literal motions, often landing on the topic of how interconnected our body parts are, or how connected the brain and body are.
I’ve learned that I carry my stress in my shoulders. Sometimes they slump, sometimes they’re lifted up to my ears. They are tensed up as I write this. I have the hardest time letting them go. In one particularly tough session, I realized how connected my levels of stress and physical pain were. I said, “Wow, the body really does keep score.” My Doctor calmly replied: “Yes, yes it does.”
Our body is keeping score at all moments, whether we recognize it or not. Tension in the neck. Tired hands. Achy feet. Trauma in the hips. Everything we’re feeling finds a way to manifest itself in our corporeal form. Gnarly.
So many of us also keep score mentally. My friend (and #1 Consumer) Josie wrote an essay on the uniquely American cultural obsession with revenge (subscribe to her Substack to read it in full) that I’m still thinking about. What is the point of revenge and why are we so obsessed with it? When does revenge ever end — and how? Can you get ever revenge without putting someone down in the process? To quote Josie, who writes about this way better than I do: “But even if we could rely on karmic retribution — would you want that? Has your unearned suffering outweighed your unearned luck?”
Would the weight in our shoulders feel lighter if we stopped holding onto some of of our resentments and grievances? Probably. Here’s to working on it.
I have had this book on my reading list for too long!