Friday Five: Bank Holiday Edition

Three Days Later...

Hello gorgeous Consumers. Welcome back to your weekly roundup of joyful, cathartic content from across the corners of the digital universe and my weary mind. Sorry I’m a tad late!

Last week I complained about wearing a wool coat in London in mid-May. This week, I’ll complain about the massive heat wave and the general lack of air conditioning everywhere — it is steaming out. So much so that there’s an advisory telling people to carry water. Anyway, let’s get into our weekly bits and bobs:

Celebrity Serenade: Joe remains one of R&B's most underrated crooners — I saw him perform live several months ago and was completely floored. He sounds exactly the same. Anyway, this video of him singing his biggest hit to Britney Spears has only 1,700 views, and 300 of them are mine. I would read an entire oral history of this moment told by the two backup dancers in Hawaiian shirts who mysteriously appear at the 50-second mark.

Chip Lore: Surprisingly, this isn't about Bret's, though you must know their Lebanese falafel flavor tastes incredible. Today we're talking about Pringles. Specifically, the man on the can. Unfortunately, he's yet another victim of the great yassification of corporate mascots: he should have kept his original hair tuft instead of the strange drawn-on eyebrows he's been saddled with. Anyway, do you know this guy's name?

Why does his mustache take up over 50% of his face?

If your answer is no, you’re half-right. For the longest time, he was nameless, sometimes referred to as ‘Mr. P.’ In 2006, two college freshman went on Wikipedia and updated his name to Julius, and naturally, they also started a Facebook page - aptly titled “Who knew he was named Julius Pringles?” - to raise awareness. When P&G sold the Pringles brand to Kellogg’s in 2012, the company accepted “Julius” as Mr. P’s true name. What brand would you do this to? I’d give the Sour Patch Kids names.

Future Commune Inspiration: ‘New Ground’ is a housing estate entirely comprised of women over the age of 50 in North London. If the BBC isn't already rushing cameras over there to film a British take on Golden Girls, I will start a GoFundMe to buy the necessary equipment and get this thing going. It started ten years ago with one smart idea: “what if we didn’t have to grow old alone but were able to share a home with our friends?”

This exchange tugged at my heartstrings:

“Most women say it,” observes Argent, a former social worker who is Jewish and fled to Britain from Vienna to escape the Nazis when she was ten years old. “Men a little less, I think. But women very much say, ‘Wouldn’t it be lovely to live together? We’ll buy a big house…’ ”

“ ‘… and we’ll have a kitchen in the middle and we’ll always have wine,’ ” Jude Tisdall, a 74-year-old resident, pitches in.

“But very few people are able to realise it,” Argent finishes.

Anyway, it was inspired by a womens-only commune in Amsterdam in the 90s, where the Dutch government was already allocating grants to help the 55-plus generation plan ahead and live communally. It took them twelve years to find a site, so if this appeals to you, there’s no time like the present.

Poem: I’m embarrassed to admit I wasn’t familiar with Amir Khosro’s poetry, but “He Visits My Town Once a Year” is a new favorite.

This subgenre, originated by Khosro, is called Keh Mukarni (translation: “Say” and “Deny”), a staple of Hindavi literature made up of playful riddles involving two speakers seemingly discussing their lovers but ending instead in wordplay. Here’s another:

We need to bring this art form back and/or have the ladies of “New Ground” do readings of these poems.

Joyful Internet Content:

A music teacher in North Carolina is making Jack Black’s character in School of Rock look like actual child’s play. This cover of “Like Him” by Tyler the Creator and Lola Young stopped me in my tracks:

And then this Lupe Fiasco and Jill Scott cover left my jaw on the floor, stay for the verse:

Then, they covered Outkasts’s “Rosa Parks” and I screamed! These are elementary schoolers! They are so TALENTED. They’re raising funds for their summer camp if you’d like to support them.

This guy nailed the Iranian cadence so well:

This creator speaks Farsi with a Texan accent, and found a friend who can do it with an Irish accent and I’m wondering if I should pivot to speaking like this with my family.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m glad you’re here.

Who, girl, your man?

Roya